Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
