Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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