brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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