If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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