remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
