I think i peed on brittanys purse
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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