beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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