Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
