dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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