So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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