For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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