remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i think i have two assholes
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize