so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
