i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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