Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize