You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
