none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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