Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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