Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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