I hate all girls vehemently.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
