sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
