so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
