whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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