My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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