i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
