I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
How external is "for external use only"?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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