omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
