Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize