I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
