It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
