shes about as inviting as chlamydia
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
