i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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