Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
