i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
