I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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