that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
