i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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