Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
