He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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