I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
