Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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