Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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