On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize