i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
