Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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