State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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