You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
