ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
