Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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