I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
