He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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