I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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