PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
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