So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize