You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize