"it" just moved
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
