Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I need to calm my uterus...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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