why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
