i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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