i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
