I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
