its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
