I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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