i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
