i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
