problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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