I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
