I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
