yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
